In July 2021, I knew that if I didn't take drastic action regarding my mental health, I might not be around much longer. My depression had driven me to the depths of suicidal ideation. I was scared. I called my doctor and followed their advice, checking myself into an inpatient mental health facility.
Having spent the last 17 years in corporate healthcare, I had full faith in the system I was willingly entering. These were mental health professionals, and I was in a mental health crisis. There seemed to be no other option. My experience in that facility was eye-opening in ways that are hard to articulate. It was also heartbreaking and disillusioning. If this was the best the mental health community in my area had to offer, what the &%$# was I going to do?
After 36 hours of convincing the staff that this was not the right place for me, I was finally sent home. As I reviewed my discharge instructions, I knew that if I took the medications I was being prescribed, I would literally sleep my life away. I wasn’t sure what recovery looked like, but I knew this wasn’t it. I had a new diagnosis of Complex PTSD and no idea where to find help.
When I got home, I began looking for a recovery program. The options I found were either what I had just experienced or spending $30k-$50k per month for an all-inclusive treatment program. Neither option worked for me. I wanted the latest cutting-edge treatment approach but didn’t want to drain my family’s savings to achieve it.
In my job at Cerner, I would tell stories of patients navigating the healthcare system as part of the sales process. I understood what an interdisciplinary care plan was and what it took to get a multi-disciplinary care team to coordinate their efforts. I had just spoken with five different program directors who walked me through the various components of their care plans. Why couldn’t I coordinate that care for myself and stay in the comfort of my home while doing it?
So that’s what I did.
Looking back over the last three years has been like watching my life come into focus, much like how the letters on the eye chart become clearer as the optometrist adjusts the lenses.
The fog of depression and the suffocation of anxiety are behind me.
So what did I do? Well, a lot of things. Some of them seemed to make a difference, and some I wrote off quickly.
In the upcoming blog posts, I’ll be sharing some of the research I’ve done, my self-created care plan, and advice from some of the brilliant experts I’ve met along the way.
Upcoming topics include:
Rewiring the Brain: The Power of Neuroplasticity
Nothing Micro About the Results I Had with Micro-Dosing
Coming Home to Homeostasis: The Intricate Balance of Body and Mind
Self-Discovery through Systems like Human Design and Gene Keys
How to Talk to Someone You Feel Needs Help
My hope for this series is that it finds anyone who needs the inspiration to take the driver's seat in their mental health journey. If you are that person, you can do this!
Your current nervous system status does not have to be your forever status.
More soon,
Jess
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